Disappear

I kidnapped an elephant from a traveling circus train crash. At least I think I did. I know I found myself in those hills.
It all started in October, the leaves were dying their vivid colors. I had no reason to leave my town, but I left anyway. There was no end destination in mind. I took my car that was as ragged as my jeans and just drove away. I didn’t tell anyone I was going, nor did I take anything with me. Surprises are always fun.
I drove for hours, days even. Time passed without notice.
My car broke down near the mountains. I left it there and kept going. Everything is worse at night because that’s when the paranoia kicks in. I walked until sunrise. I had no identity, no location; I was no one, free.
There was a town that one only dreams about, homey and free of chain stores. It was a destination among many. They knew I didn’t live there; I was a stranger, yet someone took me in.
She was widowed. I liked her. Her home was stuck in time. Nothing had changed; it was frozen in her memories. I stayed for a week and left with a renewed faith in humankind. It was rejuvenating that some people were still pure of society’s ills.
I moved along on my way, knowing winter would be biting at my heels before I knew it. Things were better on foot. Nature mattered.
The grass was the only proof of my existence. It left behind my mark, my footprint.
That night I slept by the river and prayed for safety from nature’s beautiful destruction. Days continued to melt by and still nothing mattered to me. I was free from life’s responsibilities, all of them seemingly unnecessary. My family probably thought I was dead.
November snuck in and things continued to die. My shoes snapped dehydrated wood and startled unseen wildlife. I continued trekking across the unknown land.
I found another town and received unexpected stares. What had happened in the world while I was gone? Everything clicked when I caught my reflection in the counter top. I had become an unkempt vagabond. It was time for new clothing, some warmth.
I stayed again in this town. I met the single serving friends that you open up too, knowing full well you will never see them again and that all you say won’t matter if you give it time.
There was a faded banner in the distance, one that bore the harshness of weather for many years. The sun-damaged banner boasted that the circus was coming to town. Memories of my childhood flooded back to me. I used to think of joining a circus, despite being clumsy and having no visible talent. I longed for some sense of unity to my existence.
The banner was abandoned but my renewed sense of passion was not. It was at that moment I decided to join a circus. It was an odd and childish desire but it was something I felt I should do.
The biggest problem was finding my location and finding a circus to join.
Logic told me to head south. Not wanting any possessions, I continued to walk.
The time that progressed became hazy. Eventually, as if a mirage, I saw caravans on the horizon.
As if by fate, I had indeed found my circus. I felt my happiness begin to return, something that was a bit of a shock to me. I met and spoke to the right people and soon was given a place. As it turns out, the animal keeper was looking for a replacement and somehow I got the job.
They told me they were going to head south, to avoid the weather. We moved out the following day and I began to learn what it took to care for an elephant and the appetite this enormous animal dictated.
It was soon I developed an unspoken bond with the mammal and I felt my compassion returned.
The rain came the dirt became mud. The groan of the caravans became a melodic part of the trip south. I felt as if I had traveled backwards, I had been away from home for an eternity it seemed and all the convenience was gone. This traveling was legitimate work.
When we arrived near the mountains, the rain turned to snow and the progression slowed even further. Things became slippery and we could only move during daylight, it was the least treacherous time.
Tragedy struck the following week. Some of the caravans lost control on the ice and crashed. In the chaos of broken items, I wanted to flea. The past months had been filled with solitude and disillusion, and this was far too much to take in. My charge, the elephant was obviously distressed and freezing cold. In the confusion, I grabbed some blankets and led my friend away from the mess, toward more unknown places.
We walked, looking for shelter from the frigid temperatures. There were no towns, no people. We just traveled and seemed to grasp each other.