With the glowing screen keeping me company.

And I fingered the worn photo she looked at me with a sad smile. "Her name was Melanie."

The feeling of her lips against his bare shoulder.

His nose buried in the smell of her hair.

His arm sticking to her waist. Humidity.

The furtive glances and sheepish smiles that follow.

The innocence of sleep.

Brushing the hair from her face.

Numb arms.

Readjusting positions.

Love.

I'm curious about the moral implications of recreational sex.

A lesson in love and defeat

To love the defeat
to find love in defeat
to defeat love
to love in defeat

He was in love with her. That was his secret. That was why he could not forgive himself- he never told her.

It was his lack of control of her reponse that crippled him in the end. It left him empty.

She left him standing there at the edge of the road with bitter tears in his eyes. That was how he remembered her.

He had hated himself ever since. Maybe he was too harsh on himself. But that day crushed any faith he had in his future. Maybe that's why he stayed.

It was the way her skirt moved as she stood in the creek and the way the light shone off her hair. That was what he remembered about her.

Six years had passed since that summer.

She had since moved to Manhattan. He stayed in the quiet town. The memories fueled him, the safety. The shadows the willow trees cast on the streets.

But she was returning. Her father was ill. She was leaving her urban life to come home. Home to the town with the shady trees and hazy skies.

He knew she had changed. The city life robbed her of her free spirit. He didn't know how she could be happy in such a cramped places, full of smell and traffic.

But she had kept in contact with him all those years and that was what mattered.

It is officially mid April. What have I to show for it? A desire to sleep and nothing else.

Tell me the river and the grass and the trees
Tell me why you had to leave

Tell me the wind and the stars and the sky
And tell me why you made me cry

reflections of the day

No AP exams for me. 80 dollars I don't wish to have spent. Is it education?

The art of love. But I feel nothing compared to how he loves me. Am I to stay with him? A fool I adore who is so unworldly according to my own definition. But is my definition jaded?

Today the relationship achieves a new level. He feels significance. Will I?

He is simply a boy, I feel. Innocent and shy. Perhaps he is not innocent. But he accounts for himself, and that's why I like him. He in uneducated but adorable in his ignorance. Is it enough I continue to wonder...

The lost art of thought.

But he adores me I say.

But he makes me happy I say.

But is it worth it I wonder.

FML.

I love him.

I miss your scent and the shape of your shoulders.